Recently, on a trip into the most desolate part off australia, Uluru, I had an encounter with a drop bear,
Depite applying quite a lot of vegemite (inferior to marmite, yet all I could get before the expidition)
Ironically, the attack occurred while walking under the only noticeable tree in the area and obviously the attack was that more severe because the drop bear was a touch bored having waited almost 4 hours(the maximum, before it gives up and finds another tree)
I heard the whistling of the bear as it fell through the air to land with a loud splat(too much vegemite?) on my shoulders. The attack lasted about five minutes, as the bear and I rolled around in a fury of furrey dusty, sticky marmite substitue struggle to the death.
Eventually I managed to scare the bear off with my Patent pending anti drop bear whistle, which can only be heard by drop bears and widdgidy grubs(!)
The beast scurried off up into the tree and I swear gave me a 'you were well luck cobber!) stare.
This is the second dangerous animal attack I have suffered, The first being the Transilvanian sloth! The slowest of the animal kingdoms assasins.